Age

I tried to capture the sky one evening after a short downpour. The entire world seemed to be an orangey- sepia colour. Unfortunately it didn't turn out (lousy iPhone) but this huge fluffy cloud reminded me of a big cotton candy ball. 

There are times in my life I think about aging. And death. Oh what a way to start the week eh? I don't fear death itself, but I do fear dying young and not being able to watch my child grow up, have his own family, and then hold my grandchildren. 

Just this afternoon, I helped my mom try to take a headshot for her passport photo and was struck by how much she has aged. 

 And how much she is beginning to look like my late grandmother. In the midst of her giggles and fussing over her hair and wrinkles, I felt a mix of sadness and gratefulness. 

Sadness that she is getting on in years, and also remembering my late grandmother and her last years. She was unable to move and speak in her last 2-3 years, and stayed in a nursing home. I don't know how often her family visited her, but I didn't see her much. I don't want my mother to spend her last years that way. 

But I felt grateful too, for the mother I have been blessed with, flaws and quirks and all. Everyone says she looks great for her age. She can be a bit moody, but she loves her family with all her heart. How she has taken care of us through the years, and now her grandson, I can't tell you how much it means to me. 

Clouds have the effect on me. :) So much reminiscing and hope. Good things, thankfully.